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The rules
I recently dipped into ‘The Rules’. If you’re not familiar with this book, it’s written by 2 Americans, Sherrie Schneider and Ellen Fein and they provide a lengthy set of rules all intended for the single woman. The book’s end goal is to get a man to marry you. It’s simple.Practice the rules religiously and you’ll be married before you know it. Disobey the rules and be alone forever….I urge you to read this book…. if you want a good laugh. Penned only in the mid 1990s, it is a remarkably old fashioned read with some worryingly inappropriate words of advice. These 2 have even released an ‘inspirational rap song’ entitled ‘Just Do the rules!’ I was too embarrassed to listen to it.
The gist of the rules is that women simply play hard to get, they always look and behave perfectly and most of all, they agree to obey certain dating rules. Whilst there’s no doubt that for some relationships, the rules work, I struggle to comprehend some of the theories that these 2 have come up with.
Here are my favourite rules and some alternative suggestions for the modern woman.
Their rule
Reply to one in 4 emails. Come on, if he’s sent you 3 emails without a reply, then he’s going to lose interest.
My rule
Reply to emails promptly and politely. The beauty of email is that it’s immediate. Unless you are genuinely not in a position to reply, then compose your message back and hit send!
Their rule
Don’t accept a Saturday date after a Wednesday. Oh please….play that hard to get and you’ll never get a date with him….or anyone for that matter.
My rule
If you want to go on the date, and you’re available, say yes, regardless of the day of week. If a man asks you out, it usually means that he wants to see you. Why make it even harder than it already is?
Their rule
Make him visit 3 times before you consider a trip if you’re in a long distance relationship! (well, maybe if you’re dating an exceptionally rich man with his own private jet, but not for the rest of us……)
My rule
If you’re in a long distance relationship – compromise. Take it in turns to visit and you’ll promote an equal and fair relationship, right from the start.
Their rule
Online dating – let men respond to you! (what?)
My rule
Online dating – this is the 21st Century! Guys tell us that they love being contacted by women – it’s flattering and what’s more, it’s fair. If you spot a guy you like, be bold and put together that killer email.
Their rule
Do not date men for more than 2 years. According to those crazy Americans, he’ll never marry you if he hasn’t proposed within 2 years.
My rule
Date him for as long as you like. If your relationship is healthy and happy, is marriage really that important? Sometimes marriage proposals come after a few short months of dating, othertimes, it’s a few years before the couple are ready to tie the knot. We’re all different and this should be recognised.
So, if the rules are for you, then good luck, but my advice is to trust your judgement, follow your gut (you normally know deep down what’s right for you), be safe, and date happily.
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